It’s All That
Chatting with @tewson today over dinner, I was struck with another revelation of truth:
tewson: When are you going to take your IELTS?
me: Hmm? I don’t have to take it.
tewson: Aren’t you going to UK?
me: Oh, not anymore. You see, I read this book called “Introduction to Social Science,” and it made me realize that there is no right, and there is no wrong in this world. Everything is a matter of viewpoint — how you look at the situation. Different people have different views; that’s why there are so many ideas in this world. To do research is to add another viewpoint into the pool. It is just useless.
tewson: Yeah, but even if everything is meaningless, you must pick up something to make a living.
me: I know, but there is nothing that I value anymore. So I don’t want to do anything, because I want to do only things that I think are important.
tewson: For me, I want to be a researcher. When I am a researcher, I’ll get to see my own work piled up in a stack. They are my achievements. I guess you can say I value my ego.
Well, if there’s nothing left, at least one thing that is left is my ego, right? Or else the world would be so doleful.
me: It doesn’t matter if the world is doleful or not doleful. If that’s the way it is, then it’s the way that is.
To tell you the truth, I think what’s really left of me is my ego, too.