feelin’ good

Being 20

My feelings are overwhelming. My status of “being 20” will end in just a few hours from now. And then it’ll change to “being 21”. Gosh. I can’t believe I will have lived 2 decades!

I’ve changed a lot these past 20 years. Actually, I change a lot even in one day. I believe everybody changes a lot in one day, too, but you just don’t notice yourself well enough to recognize the changes. Did you know that in 1 snap of your finger, your mind has been born and re-born 1 million million times? Yes, I typed “million” twice. And that’s from Buddha, so you can believe it, because nothing he said has ever been proved false.

This past year I’ve turned from a skeptic to a believer of Buddhism. Every day I’ve found myself understanding more and more of the world around me. It’s this year that I’ve finally answered the “big questions of life” for myself. I’ve found the answers to questions that have bothered me since childhood – Why are we here? Where are we going? Where do we come from? Does God really exist? – questions for which have caused me to travel halfway around the world in search of the answer, for which I’ve paid for with toil, tears, stress, and even the welfare of a body organ. In this 20th year, I found that the answer was not somewhere out there, but it was here, here within me.

I have been meditating daily for one year now. In ways which are quite inexplicable, I’ve been enlightened through meditation. For one, I now know for myself that what they say about heaven and hell are real. Heaven and hell are real. Sinners do go to hell. You may wonder how I know. Let me say this – it’s just like how you know you are full after a meal. When I say I feel full, you understand what I mean, because you’ve felt full yourself. Those who have never eaten would never understand the notion of being full. It’s the same when I say I feel the existence of heaven and hell. If you’ve never felt it, you will not know what I mean. You’ll most likely regard it as bullshit, as we always regard as bullshit things which are beyond our knowledge, beyond our immediate senses. I was like that, too. Through meditation I’ve learned otherwise.

I shall call my 20th year my year of enlightenment.

This birthday I would like to stress the importance of the Five Precepts (ศีล 5). Taking care not to violate the Five Precepts will make sure you won’t go to hell when you die. On the other hand, violating the Five Precepts will make sure that you will go to hell when you die. Here are the Five Precepts:

  1. Refrain from killing all living creatures.
  2. Refrain from taking what is not yours.
  3. Refrain from sexual misconduct.
  4. Refrain from saying what is not true.
  5. Refrain from things that cause heedlessness, such as drinks and drugs.

To go to heaven, in addition to observing the Five Precepts, you must also have Hiri (หิริ) and Otappa (โอตัปปะ).  Having Hiri means that you are ashamed of the misdeeds that you do. Having Otappa means that you are afraid of doing misdeeds, because you know that they will take you to hell. These two ideas are closely related, but not the same.

Is your life leading you towards heaven or towards hell?


3 responses

  1. I agree on the changes that we all have at all times.
    Even when I was reading this blog entry, I have changed.
    Thank you for sharing. This is really really good.
    And hey, Happy Birthday (a little early)! Wish you the best this year. (And I know you’ll do the best.) :D

    October 22, 2008 at 9:22 pm

  2. Ammii*

    Wow! you made me thinking about something… This is the great blog! I like your phases that you said about how do I know. I do believe in heaven and hell. But, as you know for some information, it made me sometime not sure about what am I believing.

    Well, answering your last question, It shall be the long way for me for finding the way to heaven 555+. Actually, I should say that I can do but I still didn’t start it – -” Maybe I’m in the illusion not the real world and still stuck those fake things. Sometimes I still wanted to know what is that? how is it being? even I still know that is not good for me. Do I should still finding the new things? or Do I start walking on the way to find the meaning of life? or both? But sometime, for those both ways are contradict in themselves!

    Well, so sorry for my poor English ^^” You may not understand me U_U You may ignore it, that’s ok. ^^”

    The last but not least, Happy Birtyday na ka’ (only 2 hrs left lol) Wish all the best for you along this year and Full filled with your life!!!

    And…. Gd luck for the Grade Announcement on 24th Oct. na ja ^^

    October 22, 2008 at 10:34 pm

  3. sunny

    Thank you

    November 22, 2008 at 2:16 pm

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