feelin’ good

I Believe that Wealth is Useless, Having a Baby is Mean, and Dating is Nonsense

I’m having a conflict. By writing this I hope to solve my conflict. Here’s the conflict: I’m having a crush on a guy, but I believe that a relationship is a burden. To make things easier for you, let me tell you about my beliefs. They may come off as a little weird:

  1. I believe that wealth is useless.
  2. I believe that having a baby is mean.
  3. I believe that dating is nonsense.

I don’t blame you if you think I’m a freak at this point; even my mom does not think too highly of my beliefs. But if you would give me a chance, let me try to convince you otherwise. I have proofs.

Wealth is Useless

This first belief doesn’t really have to do with the story, but since a trilogy sounds better than a bilogy, let me show it to you.

It is a fact that a person can only spend that much on necessary items in a day. What I mean by necessary items is food, clothing, shelter, medicine, and some savings for emergency. In order to spend more than that, the person must also spend on items that he/she does not need, or in other words, luxury. Luxury items are pretty much indispensable if the person wants to show off his/her financial status. However, I view financial status as insignificant. Financial status only earns temporary respect, which dies the moment you’re stripped off your Armani attire. On the other hand, respect earned through good deeds is everlasting–look at the statues of the brave and noble that dot European cities–this kind of respect will be with you to your graves. Since I don’t believe in the respect earned through financial status, luxury items are rendered useless. Therefore, wealth, which is the money left over from necessities, is also rendered useless.

Having a Baby is Mean

I believe that having a baby is mean. It is a general and indisputable truth that every man has to suffer at some point in his/her life. Moreover, according to the dictionary, the word “mean” describes a person who knowingly causes another person to get hurt. Thus, having a baby, knowing that the baby will have to suffer when it grows up, is mean.

Dating is Nonsense

A person dates in order to get into a relationship. A relationship is friendship + love + sex. Digging deeper, sex is actually enjoyment + reproduction. Now sexual enjoyment is nature’s way of tricking you into the act of reproduction. Since sexual enjoyment is a trick, and having a baby is mean (see above), sex is nonsense. With sex being nonsense, what remains of a relationship is friendship + love, which can be reduced to relationship = friendship, because friendship can also contain love. Thus, if dating leads to a relationship, which is basically the same as a friendship, we can conclude that dating is nonsense.

Did my proofs convince you?

Back to my story. I was doing very well with my beliefs, until he caught my attention. I was impressed by his knack of _____, and before I know it, he has crept into my consciousness at every hour of the day.

I know it’s caused by hormones, and that the feeling will soon fade away (as it has always done in the past). But right now it is screaming too strongly inside me. I want him to hear, loud and clear, that “I’m crazy about you.”

The more I want to say that, the more entangled my heart becomes, because what my emotions dictate me are the direct opposite of what I believe in. I do not want to be in a relationship, and yet I’m in love. I’m in love, and yet I do not want to be in a relationship.

It’s very easy to let him know how I feel, but I cannot let him know. There is no point of doing it.

I’m nearing the end of my entry, but the conflict does not seem to lighten up at all. I know that this conflict will revisit me a thousand more times before I grow old enough that my sexual hormones stop functioning, because I must admit, am a flirt. I have hurt a few boys, and a few boys have hurt me. I don’t need another lesson to learn that being a single is the greatest gift I can give to myself.

Note: I wrote this entry some time ago, but did not post.


7 responses

  1. Pingback: Medicine » Blog Archive » I Believe that Wealth is Useless, Having a Baby is Mean, and …

  2. Paul

    Having a baby is not mean if your aim in life is to bring another soul into the world to share the human experience.

    How can you know what joy is, without an understanding of suffering? How can you know the sheer value of existence and life, if there is not struggle and strife with which to measure against?

    Despite all that has happened to me, I don’t regret being born. I am glad my parents brought me into this world. I don’t feel bad knowing I will die one day. It makes each day all the sweeter.

    Do you regret being born?

    April 27, 2008 at 11:55 am

  3. I agree with your say about the wealth, which doesn’t really mean anything to me.
    Of course we all need money to survive the world these days (at least if you live in a society), but it seems to me that living sufficiently is a beauty of life. Sometimes (actually most of the times) I wish the world would go back to be the primitive one where human beings were not the rulers (which no one but us that believe so.) The world when human were still as equally living and equally sharing the world with other beings.

    Guessing that’s kinda out of the point here. lol.

    I don’t think having a baby is mean. As Paul said, I don’t regret being born. The world can be very beautiful to me as I think it should be. And I kinda think that my children would agree with me.

    According to your proof, since I don’t think having a baby is mean, so I guess Dating is not nonsense. Dating, just like getting to know someone, just opens you into another person’s mind. It lets you know what one thinks and feels about something. Which I guess that leads to a good relationship, which also leads to a happy life.

    I’m not really good at sticking to a point, am I? lol.

    April 27, 2008 at 3:55 pm

  4. tewson

    why so serious?

    April 28, 2008 at 8:43 am

  5. I have a friend who thinks very similar to the way you do, maybe I should fix you up. Oh wait it would never work!

    April 29, 2008 at 5:18 am

  6. buddha bless, yo yo yo

    Never really posted any comment in your blogs before, but I did visit your site from time to time ( ^^”)..
    Go easy on yourself on anything dealing with emotions/feelings though. If anything will come, it’ll come. You always need to live and learn, not just methodology on programing algorithm and math and stuffs, but yourself, your belief (why a belief?). Question yourself, monitor/explore your mind.. (if it’s just hormones, then why him? what do you want?).. I think you’ll soon arrive to your perfect conclusion.

    I don’t regret having born on Earth if this life would be the life lived to suffer. If this world is full of suffering anyway, fear and discouragement from living would be meaningless. It would just mean that I’ll need to do good merits, to live for others and less for myself (personality shaped.. rid the unwanted). This belief can be healthy to this small globe and yourself. Since undergoing surgery and rid specific biological part or injecting reverse hormones are not a good idea against nature , works are left alone to the mind ( who would hate it so much altering things those ways anyway). May be like.. since sex is a trick, then having baby is a mean….. or is it? If so, why does nature want such a mean trick for us..? to suffer? is it good or is it bad.. if not, then what is it for? Your parents are happy with you born. That’s for sure. Having baby is not bad, so as having good feeling for someone as long as it stays healthy. The feelings should be gone if you don’t pressure yourself too hard to rid it though (if ridding emotion is what you want). If you face it, it should be gone. Not to be extreme, it should change little by little. Wonder if this will be any helpful…..

    April 30, 2008 at 5:46 pm

  7. “I don’t need another lesson to learn that being a single is the greatest gift I can give to myself.” -Ann Rata- :-)

    Listen bro, I’m so glad and really proud of you to publicize the issue,… seriously! I mean I’d been writing this kinda of “being-single-and-weird-view-to-the-world confession” in my diary long tym ago and you know, never let anyone know. I really appreciate your will on sharing this issue, surprisingly btw… Well, personally, the analogy I think would fit here is; it’s the same feeling when you want to lose weight and strongly say no to meat or junk foods. So, I think in order to do that, we need to be more careful about out health and mind too, u know…

    “Live sufficiently –breathe moderately, so the other(the poor) can live their lives happily, also.” It’s the most beautiful idea we were taught from our King. (for me, Gandhi also:)

    PS: Sorry if my grammar seems quite broken… lol ><

    Take care nakub P’shy! ^^

    May 2, 2008 at 2:33 am

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